A different sort of post: Joe and I would like to make known some of our parenting philosophies, as they will in some ways affect those of you we love. We figured it might help to lay these out publicly in advance, hopefully in order to cause fewer problems later down the road. I understand not everyone will agree with our decisions, and some might believe us to be idealistic (and maybe we are), but we’re still going to try and do things the best way we know how. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.
1. Toys. We’re going to do our best to stick to traditional toys made from natural materials. We are trying to avoid noisy, flashing, battery-operated toys (even the “educational” ones), as well as television and video games (at least for the first few years). Neuro-Developmental research has suggested a trend towards increasing frontal-network systems dysfunction as a result of increased 'screen' time, which makes sense given that these types of activities directly affect the development of the frontal lobes. They overstimulate young brains, and so we will try to avoid them (as much as possible in our media-saturated culture). Along these same lines, we’re going to try and stay away from “character” items (such as mickey mouse, elmo, etc.). These toys tend to produce imitative and scripted play, rather than more stimulating imaginative play. Advertising is another reason we’ll be trying to avoid television and character toys -- children have no ability to critically evaluate advertising, which is specifically designed to suck them in (and make their parents miserable). We’re also going to try and avoid most plastic toys -- many forms of plastic can leach from the toys (or containers, or foods) into the body, plastic is not great for the environment, and generally there are good substitutes made from more natural materials. Specifically we are avoiding PVC, so such toys as Lego’s (which are PVC free) are okay, though in general we are avoiding plastics and would prefer toys to be made of wood, cloth, or other natural materials, and to be as simple as possible (heirloom). Examples of great toys are those founds at
http://www.novanatural.com/
http://www.joyswaldorfdolls.com/
http://www.naturalplay.com/
http://www.bellalunatoys.com/
or many, many others (including many quality children’s stores in your area). And of course books are always welcome.
2. Food. We haven’t yet decided whether we will raise our children vegetarian. If we do, we hope everyone will respect our decision and not sneak animal products into them (even if they ask for them). Whether vegetarian or not, we’ll be doing our best to feed our children mostly whole foods, with as little processing as possible. We do not eat many processed foods, and do not want our kids to. We will largely be avoiding most dairy products, refined white sugars, high-fructose corn syrups, as well as those specific foods family members are allergic to.
3. Crying. We do our best not to let James cry without comforting him. One of the main things babies are learning early in their lives is secure attachment to their parents, and to foster this, they need to know they will be comforted when they’re scared, or lonely, or upset for whatever reason. (Babies aren’t developed enough to throw purposeful “tantrums” – that comes later.) Research indicates that babies who are quickly comforted by their primary caregivers are more independent at 5 years old than those who are left to “cry it out”. Even as an adult, I prefer to be comforted when I am genuinely upset, and I will try to give the same respect to our babies.
This list very well might evolve over time, and we greatly appreciate your support on these matters. We are new at this, and want to do the very best job we can. Please feel free to ask if you have any questions at all, we are more than willing to provide you the sources behind any of these ideas.
